Dive bars are those establishments that are cherished by many for all sorts of different reasons. Dive bars can be a diamond in the rough and an unforgettable experience, or a rough place you wish you could forget!! They all have different feelings when you walk in. But the one thing they all have in common when you walk in, is a stare down by the regulars. In certain dive bars it can be a bit intimidating, while others, it lasts for a second and then you pull up a stool. In my experience, from both behind the bar and in front of it, there are some easy things you can do that can make you seem like a local, no matter how far from home you may be.
In New Orleans I spent a night at a dive bar that I had only expected to pop in for a quick drink. I sat through three shift changes! I started talking to a local, whom at first was a bit stand offish and wary of me. But, after talking a bit, he gathered I was in the industry and the floodgates opened. He was a manager at one of the many strip clubs and started giving me the low down on places to check out and places to avoid. There is an unspoken bond between those of us in the industry that know how to carry ourselves, and occasionally, the non-industry person can pick up on these rules of the trade and quickly become a local themselves.
I personally love dive bars for all different reasons. Cheap drinks, unpretentious, a chance of danger, usually great music and great stories to tell, if you can remember them! I have been to dive bars all over the world. I sat at a bar in Venice, Italy, that was a regular spot for Hemingway back in the day, and nobody spoke English, yet still somehow had a great time.
At the time I bartended in St. Louis and most of the industry did shots of Grand Marnier. So of course I ordered a shot at the bar. They poured it into a snifter that had been warmed over a candle as a proper shot of Grand Marnier should be served. The bartenders’ jaws dropped when I poured the warmed snifter of Grand Mariner into a shot glass and slammed it down. It was an amazing experience that led to a whole other journey when I missed my train out of Venice because of it, but that’s a story for another time.
Speaking of warmed shots, I had one of the warmest shots of Jameson I have ever swallowed at a bar in St. Lucia. We were wandering around the city checking out markets when we stumbled across a literal hole in the wall. It was seriously a doorway just cut into a wall with a bar inside. We decided that some shots at this unique spot were in order to continue on with our day. We ordered some shots of Jameson and threw them back rather quickly. The bartender just laughed when it almost came right back up. Should have realized the bottle sitting in the sunlight at what is almost an outside bar, might be a tad warm. It was a lesson worth learning the hard way.
Somehow, while in The Bahamas, a group of us were able to use this amazing hidden pool at, an out of our league hotel next to a cigar and rum bar. We followed these little signs that read cigars and rum through what seemed like a maze of brightly colored buildings. We almost gave up when it seemed like a wild goose chase when we finally found it. A small little bar selling cigars and fantastic rum varieties. We grabbed some of both and noticed a pool out the window that looked like something out of the movies with its beautifully painted tiles and the canopy of trees around it. He told us to feel free to go sit by it. We did more than that since we luckily all had our suits on as well. We did a whole photoshoot looking like 80’s smugglers while enjoying our drinks and cigars. Not a soul came out and asked what we were doing there.
If you want to know the best places to eat, where the real nightlife is at or what one should do when visiting, ask a dive bartender. They always know the best parts of the city and won’t give you the tourist traps. My favorite thing to ask is, where would they go for certain things. It’s a different question than where should I go. This is how I have found amazing bars, restaurants and things to see that most tourists do not get to experience.
In Mexico, a group of us were sent to a restaurant on a cliff that overlooked the ocean. We asked a local where the best place to eat as a big group would be. They not only told us where to go but called ahead to let them know we were coming. We were the only ones in the entire place. It was 4th of July, and they had a fireworks display over the ocean while we ate. The giant windows were open, and the ocean breeze was coming through. They did Ceasar Dressing at the table, had full lobsters, the only cold Pacifico I had the whole trip, and they gave us the best experience we could have asked for.
Ask them about their favorite spots or where they would go to get a certain thing, you won’t be disappointed. But don’t just roll in and ask right away, and especially don’t ask where you can get drugs. You got to establish yourself as someone worthy of any information! They don’t want some nerd telling everyone about the secrets they have come to know and cherish.
The first rule to make yourself worthy of the title, Local, is to walk in and act like you belong. Don’t come in loud and obnoxious, timid and looking around, or cocky and looking down on your surroundings. I remember working a bar one night and it was just full of the regulars. Some kid walked in alone and had a seat. The vibe he gave off made everyone stop talking and stare at him. I just looked over without walking his way and said, you know anyone here. He replied that he did not, and I said, maybe this isn’t the bar for you. He got up and quickly left as the regulars shouted, locals only, as the door was swinging closed behind him. The point of this story is, he didn’t come in acting like he belonged. He stood out, and it made everyone uncomfortable while bringing down the vibe. Don’t be that guy!
The second rule, maybe even before the first, is to not say, “I’m a bartender too.” If you are one of the real ones, it will be recognized. If you aren’t a bartender and say this, it will also be recognized!! I can’t tell you how many times someone says this, and we just think, sure you are. Somehow, it’s obvious if you are, and more obvious if you aren’t. Just stroll in, take off the sunglasses, have a seat at the bar, order an uncomplicated drink and let the rest happen naturally. Take in the conversations around you, let the bartender strike up the questions. You learn a lot more if you listen as opposed to if you do all the talking. If you play it cool and act natural, you will give off the, I’m a local vibe, or they will assume you are in the industry. Either way, you will get the special treatment!!
Next thing you know a shot will be poured and placed in front of you, or your cup will get bigger and the drink stronger. I have sat in bars after they close with a few regulars, getting shots poured and beers popped long after everyone else has been kicked out. Don’t question these things, just do the shot, enjoy the stronger drink or if they are closing and you ask for the tab, don’t be surprised when they say, you want another. Once they establish you aren’t from the area or just visiting, chances are they will begin to tell you where you need to check out. People in the industry have very little free time, so if they choose to hit these places up, they are worthy of your attention. They will tell you hidden gems, the best food around, the cheapest drinks, places to watch out for and if you are really lucky, they will tell you a name to ask for at another spot and say to give their name for another great experience.
This happened to me in Chicago once. A group of us bartenders were there for a concert and we stopped at a bar near the venue for some drinks and food. Our food orders were all messed up, but we understand things happen and didn’t care, we just rolled with it. The bartender brought us over some shots and asked some general questions. Once he found out we were bartenders from another city we got all our food comped and more free drinks. Then he told us to ask for a certain bartender at the venue and to tell him, “Asshole sent us”. We did just that and he laughed and said, come down to this end of the bar, the cameras don’t work here. I think we all blacked out that night while at the show and not one of us had a tab over $20. It led to a wild night with stories I still tell all the time while laughing uncontrollably.
Once you learn to resonate with bartenders that you are a local or in the business, the experiences will flourish and the stories you gain will leave others jealous of your adventures. Just remember, the more chill you are and allow the stories to unravel themselves, the more you will become a local everywhere you go! Soon you will be sitting at bars all over the world with a handful of regulars shouting, locals only, to any kooks that walk in off the street acting sketchy and bringing down the vibe. So, stroll into a dive bar, take off the sunglasses, order a beer and a shot, then sit back and take it in. It could be the beginning of a story you will be telling for years to come!